The word is bland on the Grapevine

11:26am Thursday 16th October 2008

HAVING recently returned from a two-week holiday in Crete, Woodford’s Greek restaurant the Grapevine had a tough act to follow.

The former Vargo Italian, nestled mid-terrace in The Broadway, was surprisingly busy for a Tuesday night while the rest of the area’s golden triangle looked as if it had shut up shop.

Inside, I was instantly struck by the stylish, but slightly busy decor, consisting of likable black and white Greek architecture wallpaper and mis-matching, not-so-likable, abstract art.

The clientele looked reassuringly Greek, with long, loud tables spanning the floor like a scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and the sweet, but slightly shy Cypriot waiter at least pretending to be impressed by my minimal grasp of his language.

To drink, my dining partner and I picked a nice soft white pinot from the excellent wine list while we surveyed the menu of hot and cold mezze starters, plus authentic Greek cuisine, steaks, chicken, fish and vegetarian options for mains.

We opened with a huge dish of tasty homemade humus and too-hot-to-hold pittas with my all-time favourite cheese, grilled halloumi. I also enjoyed the two complimentary dishes of olives, as everyone knows, free food tastes better while containing none of the calories.

For my main course I wanted to relive some of the melt-in-the-mouth fresh fish I tasted on holiday.

Unfortunately, my high standards were not met on this occasion, as after opting for the fresh monkfish on the recommendations of our waiter, I was surprised to find three chunks of dry, skinless fillet on my plate rather than eyes and a tail. Disappointingly, it tasted like a posh attempt at fish and chips, though I have to say that the chips were perfect.

My friend went for lamb kofte, and despite the meat slipping off the bone like butter off a knife and the little forkful I had making me very jealous, her high standards were also not met, but then, when it’s the best meal your mother cooks at home, whose are?

Neither of us polished our plates or fancied dessert and the overall bill came to just over £60.

We were not bowled-over by the food and my friend was a bit put-out by the concept of topping up her own wine glass, but I suggested staff were perhaps caught off-guard by the glut of mid-week diners.

Had it not been for the company of an old friend, however, I regret to say my Mediterranean amour could have resulted in a Greek tragedy.

AT A GLANCE

The Grapevine

The Broadway

Woodford

Essex

IG9

Tel: 8504 2545 24

Opening Hours: 12pm - 3pm lunch daily 6pm - midnight dinner with kitchen closing at 10pm 12pm - 9pm Sunday with kitchen closing at 8pm

Access: Opposite Woodford tube station

Value for money: not really

Children welcome: yes